Shattered Souls
by babejuls
Summary: Two souls, hurting and alone, but will they be enough to put each other back together again? Rated M for later chapters. BillyOC warning: sexual contentlater chapters, Cutting
1. kisses and scars

Shattered Souls

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of the characters but my own. If I did you can bet Billy never would have left.

A/N: just to set it up for you, about 18 months earlier Jason's aunt and uncle were in the process of adopting a daughter. The last of the paperwork had just been filed and the three were heading home when they were hit by a semi on the interstate. Michael and Emily Lee were killed instantly while their new Daughter, 17 year old Julie Sol was severely injured. Over the next year Jason's family tried desperately to make sure she could legally stay with them and she attempted to recover both physically and emotionally from yet another horrible event in her life.

Chapter 1: Kisses and Scars

Jason Lee and his parents, accompanied by an army of family and friends, waited at the airport for the arrival of their newest member. It was an intimidating scene laid out before the timid young lady. Julie had long ago resigned herself to a life of loneliness and heartache. Perhaps that is why the current situation was so uncomfortable for her. She headed straight for Jason, he was the only face she recognized from the funeral and she remembered that he was kind to her. "Hi," she mumbled barely audible over the general hustle and bustle of the crowded airport. Before she had time to pull away or react at all she found herself in a many-armed group hug. Displeased by the idea of hugging perfect strangers and even more uneasy with physical contact in general after an incident with a foster father when she was eight she quickly pulled away. Jason's friend Billy Cranston noticed the slight shiver that ran through the young girl at the embrace. He was after all a very smart young man and having had a few minor traumas in his on life he recognized the response for what it was.

The ride home was long and loud. Everyone seemed desperate to make their guest feel right at home. What they failed to realize was the nervous twitching of Julie's wrist and the way she self-consciously tugged at her long sleeves.

Billy began to have suspicions that his best friend's new cousin may be a Self-Harmer, and made a mental note to investigate further. 'She really is a sweet girl though,' Billy thought to himself as his long time friend Kimberly attempted to make small talk.

"So how do you like the weather out here? I'm sure it's not what you're used to coming from Pennsylvania and all, but you'll get used to it. You must be roasting in that long-sleeve shirt though. We should go shopping sometime soon. Your gonna need a lot more summer clothes. How would like that?"

"I'm fine really," was her only reply. But once again she drew her hands up into her sleeves and shuttered slightly. Billy found this very intriguing and couldn't help but stare till he was caught looking. 'She appeared extremely nervous by my silent observations,' Billy thought, 'Perhaps she knows what my suspicions are. I sincerely wish I could speak with her privately, but I suppose it can wait.' She tugged at her sleeves once more. 'hmm, perhaps not.'

Billy allowed his mind to wander back in time to a place he hadn't visited in a long time. His mother's grave. Shortly after his mother's death he had been a very angry, depressed young man. He'd started to cut, and almost killed himself while kneeling at her grave. If it weren't for his father showing up to replace the flowers as he did weekly Billy would have bled to death. Billy never told any of his friends about the incident and had to see a number of therapists after that. He quit cutting and became, if possible, even more studious and reserved.

He came out of his reverie when he realized that the car had come to a halt in front of the Lee's house. He abandoned the caravan of vehicles parked outside for the cool house and the 'welcome' party he knew to be waiting inside.

He kept a close watch on the new arrival in the hope that he might be able to catch her alone for a moment to discuss his suspicions. However when ever she seemed to have escaped the throng of people in who's company she was obviously uncomfortable she would glance at the green-eyed blonde with a terrified look and then plunge into whatever conversation she could find. Billy was beginning to think she was purposefully avoiding him when Jason, Kimberly, Tommy, Trini, and Zack came up to him.

"You seem to be watching Juls very intently there Billy. So what do you think of her?" Jason caught Billy take one last glance in Julie's direction before turning to his friends.

"Well in all honesty it's my opinion that she has a great many issues that need to be addressed. Have your parents considered sending her to speak to a psychiatrist?"

"Wow, Billy. Where did that come from," asks Kimberly. "Honestly, I just thought she was a little shy but very nice."

"Me too," Adds Trini, "But I suppose she has been through a lot lately maybe you're right. I mean it couldn't hurt right. Besides Billy is usually right, after all."

Everyone was quiet for a while, before Billy excused himself from their company. He had spotted a lull in the activity surrounding the young lady and was determined not to let it slip away this time.

Billy walked straight up to her and asks to have a word with her in private for a moment. Juls scanned the crowd desperately for an escape, but when she can' t find any she very reluctantly accompanies him to the kitchen.

Billy is very careful to place himself between her and the exit just in case she decides to bolt. After all, that was his first reaction after he was discovered too. "I am aware that we have only just meet and that I may very well seem to be over stepping my bounds here, however, I feel that the question I have to ask you is too important to put off any longer. I've noticed that you seem very preoccupied with making certain that your sleeves are at the correct place or lower. I would like to know if that is because you are trying to hide your arms for some reason."

Juls started to squirm under his intense gaze. But at the same time she hears a note of kindness and concern in his voice. "I…... it's nothing really. It's just that…..nothing, never mind. I'm fine really."

"Julie, Are you deliberately injuring yourself?" Billy decides that to be bold and upfront is the best bet at this point. She seems to want to talk about it but she isn't sure how to, or if she can trust him.

She whispers something and looks deliberately down and away from the man standing beside her. He walks a few steps closer and gently lifts her chin to look into her hazel-green eyes. He sees the tears forming in her eyes and she sees the pain and genuine concern in his. She rolls up her sleeve and shows him the scars she's hid for so long. Some old and some from no more then a few days ago, very gently he reaches out and touches a particularly painful looking scar. She winces and he pulls away. "I apologize," he says.

"Don't. It's ok. It's just that some of them are a little more sensitive then others."

"I am well aware of that fact," he says as he lifts his shirt to reveal a surprisingly well defined stomach criss-crossed by old scars. He sees her hand twitch ever so slightly and lightly places her hand on his worst scar, just above his belly button. "I nearly killed myself with that one," he confesses as a single tear rolls down his check. She steps a little closer and wipes the tear away.

Billy's notes a sudden increase in his heart rate and his breathing gets shallower. She is so close to him that her smell is intoxicating him. 'Roses,' He decides, 'Roses and summer rain. That's what she smells like. I hadn't realized how absolutely stunning she is. I just want to hold her, but she probably wouldn't let me.' His last thought was forgotten in a instant as her lips came up to meet his, locking him in a passionate embrace, one usually reserved for long time lovers. Romeo and Juliet could not have competed with the passion of that single moment. It was then that Billy knew he could never love anyone else again.

There was a gasp from the doorway as Mrs. Lee came in to find the pair locked in a tight embrace. The gasp was less from the sight of the two together; however, after all she had every faith in love at first sight. The gasp was more to the fact that Julie's bare arm was still exposed and the deep marks were obviously of her own making. When Julie realized where her new aunts eyes were focusing she instinctively pulled her sleeves low, know it was to late, that the damage was done. Billy held her closer as she began to tremble. 'What if she sends me away, what if I get sent back to foster care. Oh my God, how could I have been so careless? What am I gonna do.'

"Mrs. Lee, I think that the three of us should discuss this in private before you talk to your husband or make any spur of the moment decisions. Please come in and sit down. I know you must be extremely worried by what you've just seen. Before you overreact however I suggest that you let me try to help her first. I believe that I can be more help to her then anyone else at the moment."

"What…I mean why. Why would you… why would anyone want to deliberately do something like that." Mrs. Lee was clearly in shock. "No offense Billy I know you're exceptionally intelligent but I think you should talk to a professional dear." She said directing her attention to Julie this time.

"Please, don't send me to shrink. I'll stop I will please don't send me away," Julie pleaded. She was desperate to stay here, with these nice people, and this incredible man she had just met.

"What? Honey, no one said anything about sending you away. We fought for you for to long to send you away now. You're here to stay. I just think you should talk to someone who can help you." Mrs. Lee looked close to tears herself as she said this.

"Mrs. Lee, please I know I can help her. Just give me a few weeks and if we haven't made enough progress for you I'll take her to the same psychologist my father took me to after my Mother died. Does that sound like an acceptable arrangement?" She had to give Billy credit he really did seem to care.

Mrs. Lee sighed heavily and grudgingly agreed to this plan and to keep this from Jason and the other. "But I can't keep this from my husband you understand."

"Ok," Julie sighed and the three of them returned to the party.


	2. park of a thousand tears

Shattered Souls: Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of the characters but my own. If I did you can bet Billy never would have left.

A/N: just to set it up for you, about 18 months earlier Jason's aunt and uncle were in the process of adopting a daughter. The last of the paperwork had just been filed and the three were heading home when they were hit by a semi on the interstate. Michael and Emily Lee were killed instantly while their new Daughter, 17 year old Julie Sol was severely injured. Over the next year Jason's family tried desperately to make sure she could legally stay with them and she attempted to recover both physically and emotionally from yet another horrible event in her life.

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Chapter 2: Park of a thousand tears

The next several days past in relative quiet. Billy very carefully arranged for someone to be with Julie at all times, though his friends had no idea why they were seemingly stalking the newest arrival to their social circle. They merely did as their friend asked without question because he asked and because they trusted him.

After several days on not being able to cut, Julie began to go through withdrawals similar to that of any other addict. She was close to the breaking point and Billy knew it. He suggested a quiet walk in the park, just the two of them, in the hopes of distracting her and perhaps getting her to open up a bit more as to why she stared in the first place. It was a technique a former psychiatrist had used on him and he thought it would work here as well.

They had been walking in silence for some time when they came to a secluded spot commonly used by him and his friends to morph or to teleport in secrecy. He laid out a blanket and a picnic then invited her to sit down beside him. The silence was beginning to become ominous between them when she finally spoke.

"I suppose you want to know why I started right." She was looking intently at her own twitching fingers, to afraid and embarrassed to look at him directly.

"I do not wish to push you into opening up to me until you are ready. But yes, the thought has been rattling around for quite some time." Billy reached out his hand to still her nervous energy as much as to lend his support and comfort.

Julie felt as though his gentle touch was the only thing keeping her from shaking to bits. He was like an anchor keeping her there and offering such protection as he could. She was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, and awoke some time later to the realization that she had been crying in his arms for a length of time in which she had apparently managed to leave the young man rather sodden.

"I'm so sorry," she chokes out, her throat hoarse from crying.

"Please," Billy replies, "Don't ever apologize for your tears. I sincerely wish I had had someone to cry to myself…after my mother died."

Julie looks up to see a single tear run down his cheek. 'Maybe he isn't as okay has he seems to be either. Maybe he really will understand.'

"When I was five, my parents and older brother were killed in a gas explosion at our home," She says. "I was hiding behind the couch when it happened and was lucky not to get to badly burned. I watched the fire consuming my family alive. Then a neighbor who had seen it all happened broke the window behind me and pulled me out. I didn't have any other family so after I got out of the hospital they put me into the system. I lived in a lot of group homes and foster families." She starts to sob again as she remembers the night her foster father forced himself on her. "I was eight when my innocence was stolen from me," she sighs. "The family I was staying with seemed really nice and all. One night my foster mother was working a late shift at the hospital where she was a nurse's aid. My foster father came into my room just before bed time. He…He raped me," she cries with head in her hands.

Billy reaches out to her slowly so as not to startle her. He pulls her in close to him and holds her as she cries some more. He cries too, for all the pain she is feeling and all the hatred he feels toward this unspeakably evil man who hurt her so badly. It's been a long time since he really cried, since he's been close enough to someone to let them see him cry. Even his closest friends have never seen more then a few tears from him. He's always been so introverted, so careful about his emotions.

Eventually the tears fade and she tells him about how happy she was to find out she was going to adopted and not just age out of the system like so many of her peers. They used to tell her that after a certain age the likelihood of being adopted was slim. And just when she was beginning to think things might actually work out for her after all a semi came flying out of nowhere and crushed all her dreams.

"I started cutting when I was eight, after…after what happened," she sighed, tears threatening to fall once more down her flushed, sodden cheeks. "I guess I started to rebel then too. I blamed the system for placing me in such a place. I started acting out in school, partying hard, and hooking up with any guy who asked. I figured if it could be taken by force was just easier to let them get what they wanted without to much trouble. The Lee's almost didn't want to take me, because of it. They made me promise that if I became part of their family I had to clean up my act. So I did. I started getting good grades, that really shocked my teachers and everyone really, I stopped smoking and drinking and especially stopped hooking up with random guys."

"Well I am certainly glad to hear that," Billy laughed slightly. His attempt at humor was not lost on Julie. She merely smiled and kissed him gently.

"I have a confession of my own to make. You've opened up to me so much today that I feel it is only fair that I return the favor. Also I wish for you to know that I can relate to you more then you may have first realized." Billy hesitated for a moment, after all this was one of his deepest and most painful memories. "I…I was raped as well." The tears are falling freely now, he can't hold them back anymore. Even in all his long therapy sessions he was never affected like this. He never told them about this, never told anyone. "After my mother died my father was in a very low point in his life, as was I. My father's brother moved in with us for a short time. He….He took advantage of my pain and well I guess I've never been the same. I never told anyone about the incident. He still comes to visit on occasion but I've become adept at making myself scarce. It's happened a few times since then but less so as I've gotten older. Partially because he and his wife moved further north to Oregon and rarely visit anymore."

It was Julie's turn to hold the young man and to cry at the pain he was in, the same pain she herself was in. All those therapists had never been able to help him, though he let them think that they had, only so that the weekly sessions would stop. It was times like this he found himself seriously tempted to start cutting again. But he knew the consequences if he did. He'd become hooked again, get discovered again, and spend more time with therapists. But this time he had another reason for not giving in, his love for the young woman in whose arms he now found himself.

The sat there for several more hours, watching the sunset together, both feeling more free and relaxed then they've ever been in the company of another. As the last tendrils of light left the sky they headed for home and on the front steps of the Lee residence shared another passionate embrace. One that left both slightly breathless and in desperate need of a cold shower.


	3. snow at midnight

Shattered Souls chapter 3

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of the characters but my own. If I did you can bet Billy never would have left.

A/N: just to set it up for you, about 18 months earlier Jason's aunt and uncle were in the process of adopting a daughter. The last of the paperwork had just been filed and the three were heading home when they were hit by a semi on the interstate. Michael and Emily Lee were killed instantly while their new Daughter, 17 year old Julie Sol was severely injured. Over the next year Jason's family tried desperately to make sure she could legally stay with them and she attempted to recover both physically and emotionally from yet another horrible event in her life.

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-Snow at midnight-

Friday afternoon, the gang was assembled at their usual hangout, the juice bar. Tommy and Jason were sparring as usual, preparing for the karate competition next month. Zach and Billy were coaching them and the three girls sat a table a little further away sipping drinks and chatting about nothing in particular. When Kimberly looks up and notices Billy's father and uncle coming in the door. She points them out to Julie and offers to introduce her, but Julie has already noticed the slightly strained look on Billy's face.

Obviously he has noticed the new arrivals too.

The two men are almost to Billy when Julie steps in and introduces herself. "Hi, I'm Julie. So your Billy's dad, nice to meet you and you must be his grandpa," she says addressing his uncle. They guys snicker slightly but Billy's uncle doesn't seem to see the humor in the situation.

"Actually, I'm his uncle. And you are?"

"Just a friend. Jason's cousin actually. Um, Mr. Cranston," she says turning her attention to Billy's dad, "We were talking about maybe going up to the mountains for a skiing trip this weekend. I just moved here from PA and I really miss the snow. Would it be alright with you if Billy joined us?"

Billy's uncle looks at her suspiciously before saying, "Well I drove all the way down here to spend some time with my brother and nephew, and I'd be a little disappointed if I couldn't at least 'hang' with him for a while or whatever you kids call it these days. Of course the choice is yours." He turns to his brother, who considers it for a moment.

"Well how about this," he says, "Billy can go with you but you won't be leaving until tomorrow right? So he can spend this evening with us. Sound fair?"

"Ok," Julie replies, "but we will have to get a very early start in the morning so please don't tire him out to much." She laughs, trying to make the whole thing seem light hearted. The two men are quick to leave the building after that.

"What was all that about?" asks Jason.

"Ya, I didn't know we were talking about going up to the mountains this weekend," Says Tommy.

"Well it just occurred to me" Julie replies. "So if we're gonna go we better get packed and everything for tomorrow."

"It does sound like a good idea. Why not? I'm gonna go make sure it's alright with my folks," Says Zack.

"Me too," Kimberly chimes in. Trini nods in agreement and they head for the door.

"Well I know my parents will say yes but I better go get packed," says Tommy. Jason agrees to ask for them both and Julie says she'll be home to pack in a while.

After everyone else has left Billy looks at Julie and says, "Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't intervened. I've run out of plausible excuses that have not been over used."

"Don't thank me yet," she replies, "You still have to stay with him all night. O I know why don't tell them that you'll be sleeping at our place tonight so we can get an earlier start. You can still spent the evening with them but he won't try anything with your dad around right. So just pack your stuff and come over afterward."

"Have I told you how much I adore you recently?"

"Many times but I think I could handle hearing a few more," she laughs. Billy leans in and presses his lips gently against hers. She opens her mouth just enough to deepen the kiss before someone lets out a whistle and they remember that their making out in the middle of the juice bar.

Julie returns home to tell her aunt and uncle that Billy will be spending the night there and to pack her things for the trip.

A few hours' later Billy steps up to the door of the Lee house with his bag for the trip and rings the doorbell. Jason answers the door and shows him in.

"Julie sure has taken it on herself to plan the entire weekend hasn't she? I hope your not to disappointed about not getting to spend time with your uncle." Jason says.

"Negative," says Billy, "I'm actually quite looking forward to it."

The put his things in Jason's room and head back down to take-out.

The next morning the wake up early and head up to the mountains. Julie had already made the call to make sure there would be rooms available and the like. When they get there they decide on their rooms and get unpacked. There were only two triples and a single room available so the boys draw lots to see who will get his own room, Billy wins.

Julie's never been skiing before so they teacher. Or try to, eventually she gets her hands on a snowboard though and discovers she is much better at it then the skis. They spend the first day out on the slopes. That night they all had dinner at a local pizza parlor and called it an early night so they could get out on the slopes early the next morning.

Julie waited until her two roommates were sound asleep before slipping on her dressing gown and sneaking off to Billy's room for a midnight surprise. In her left hand was a bottle of chocolate syrup and in her right was a snow ball!

She knocked on his door a few times before he finally opened it dressed in a blue robe and his boxers. His glasses were a little askew. He'd obviously been asleep but he 'perked' up instantly when her saw her in her more then slightly revealing nightgown and sheer dressing over lay. He invites her inside and as soon as he shuts the door gets hit from behind with a snowball. He turns around to see her laughing and decides that this means war. He runs to the bathroom and gets a glass of cold water to throw at her but when he turns around she pins him to the wall, kissing him deeply. He drops the glass, splashing both their bare feet in cold water.

She leads him back to the bed and slips of his robe. He unties her dressing gown and gently slides it down her body till it falls to the floor. Then he kisses her, pulling her body in close to his and wrapping his arms around her like he's wanted to since their first kiss.

The kiss continues for what seems like an eternity, before they both pull away, breathless and completely aroused by the experience. Billy sweeps her up in his surprisingly well toned arms and lays her gently on the bed. He looks deep into her eyes before kissing her lips, her neck, her collar bone and back up. He slides his hand up her thigh gently, pushing her nightgown up as he goes. When he discovers that she isn't wearing any panties he becomes, if possible, even harder.

She sees him hesitate and smiles slightly. She was counting on him making that little discovery on his own and now that he had it was time to speed things up. She pulls the nightgown over her head and moves to take his boxers off as well. 'wow,' she thinks when she sees him for the first time in all his glory. Its her turn to be aroused as he leans over her, kissing every inch of her flesh. She brings his hand up, and he gently teases her nipples into hardness, licking and suckling them.

He lays himself on top of her gently and she brings her legs up around him. He leans down to kiss her lips and gently slides himself into her.

Just the feeling of being in her tells Billy it won't be easy for him to control himself, but the last thing he wants to do is hurt her so he waits for her to adjust to his size before he starts to slide in and almost out of her. Up to the tip and back in, over and over. The first moan escapes her lips and she begs him to go faster, to do it harder. He speeds up and she moans again. His passion is fueled by her cries and before long their bodies are dripping in sweat. They reach their climax almost simultaneously and collapse, to tired to move they lay there curled up in each others arms all night. Just before he falls asleep he whispers a quiet wish that they could stay like this forever, then he tells her angelic sleeping form he'll love her for ever, kisses her gently and falls asleep.

A/N: I hope you like it so far I may put up another chapter. After all the other rangers don't know what is going on and besides Rita has been way to quiet. I could use a little input if you have any though. In the meantime enjoy this chapter wink


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